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The Dragon Rally 2013, my version
Posted by : Bogger (92.234.206.222) 
Inappropriate or SPAM?
On Wednesday 13/02/13 at 01:20:40
What’s the Dragon Rally all about then? Well basically what happens is a load of mainly middle aged blokes turn up in a field in Wales in the middle of winter drink far too much alcohol and mercilessly rip the p*** out of each other over the weekend 
. You know what it’s cold it’s miserable but very very funny.
You’ve probably read the posts leading up to the Dragon and heard about who’s going etc. All I can say it was JIB city 
. The amount of people who said they were coming and didn’t was quite frankly appalling. Meeting at mine for the ride down was Vic, JJ and Russ. Only Vic turned up.
Loaded and ready 
So off we set on the Friday heading for the Eagles pub and bunkhouse in Penmachno at about 12.30pm. The M6 and M56 were boring but quick. We peeled of the M56 into the back roads of Wales heading for Ruthin. It had of course started to rain and was quite windy. The warning gantrys on the motorway had severe weather warnings for Sunday. Joy. I hadn’t bothered to look at the map before setting off as Vic has a natsav strapped to his Innova. We only took one wrong turn, sorry he only took one wrong turn just as we entered Ruthin. We refuelled checked the natsav and we had about 50mls to go. We’re climbing into the hills and all of a sudden my Cd200 doesn’t ‘feel’ right 
I look down only to see the front tyre deflate before my eyes . Oh b*****s it’s raining it’s freezing and were in the middle of nowhere, there was glass embedded in the tread, That’ll teach me to go around threatening to glass people, got their own back now havn’t they 
. I shuffle the bike to the side of the road and wondered where Conrod fitter was as he fixed my last puncture in Matlock in the summer. I looked for his number on the mobile but I must have deleted it. Perhaps his 130ml trip to fix my puncture was pushing it a bit 
. Only one thing for it me and Vic will have to do it. Then it dawned on me. I had left my co2 inflation kit at home in the Cub back box 
. Phew Vic had a pump, he is fit to burn after all despite what other people say about him 
. The tyre was a pig to get off and back on with it being so cold. A little WD40 helped matters along. I put the spare tube in and off we trundle a little colder and greasier than before, yuk.
Thankfully it all went to plan from there on in, we arrived at the Eagles at about 4.0pm. WTF it was closed and it was still raining, we rang the bell and knocked on the door. Definitely no one in. Only one thing for it Pie and chips in Bets-y-Coed 
. Only about 3mls down the road. We ordered the grub and I rang Black Country Pete to see where he was, about ½ an hour away. Him and his posse soon turned up. BCP, Fatboy tours, Wightgi, Ceegee and Steve W. After some more chips were consumed we headed for the Eagles. Levelo was there waiting for us, he was astride his Urinal , er sorry Ural 650.
Was it open, of course not, oh it was still raining by the way. I found a note asking to knock a couple of doors down if the pub was closed. A very nice but somewhat perplexed gent ( he wasn’t until he saw us lot) opened up. Out came three sets of keys ‘here you go lads, pick whichever room you want’. Somehow me and BCP ended up with the best room. I was somewhat alarmed when I read the notice on the door, ‘Bridal Suite’ 
. Only joking, honest. I was on the top bunk, at my age 
.
We’d asked when the bar was open, 7pm not long to go as it was already 6.30pm.We managed to jimmy the bar door and made for the seats around the wood burning stove.. We decided to have a kitty, no I rephrase that we decided to have float for the ale money. A jolly good idea. We then set about taking the p** and generally behaving in a very juvenile manner, God it was funny, all night type funny with various tales and antics .
Lock up your daughters...And your pets
Black Country Pete and Vic on the way to the toilets
Fatboy tours actually turns up for the Friday knees up but says he is Jibbing on the rally itself. Well things got a bit out of hand, but when it had all calmed down I’d re-christened him Ladyboy bus pass tours. It’s kind of stuck as well. The bloody log stove was burning hot I’m sure they put me next to it so they could have some Free pork scratching as one side of my face and body was even more wrinkled, cooked and dried up than before. B******s.
Vics favourite picture of himself. Apparently this is his good side
Heaven only knows how much we spent, round after round including pork scratchings and the now euphemistically names minge bites (some sort of fish???? Snack type things, yea whatever??)
Minge bites and pork scratchings pile
There was no Welsh choir in that night, but we could hear them in the distance, no seriously. It was like some pagan chant wafting in on an ill wind, like out of the film ‘Race with the Devil’. We trundled off to bed about 12.00 thankfully we all had a good nights kipp 
. We awoke about 8 ish got our kit together etc and then decided it was too much like hard work walking down the stairs with all our gear so we lobbed it out of the window to the waiting paws of Ash (Le Velo) . Hmm come to think of it, it wasn't raining. We piled our stuff onto the bikes and made our way to the check point on the way out of Betsy toward Capel Curig, some 8mls away.
Jibbers bike, note the lack of camping gear 
http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u203/steadman_photo/Dragon%20ralyy%202013/?action=view¤t=DSCI0184_zpsb7c1b14c.jpg
At the check point
Once there we sorted out tickets out, even Ladyboy, the jibber, as he wanted his goody bag. Damn cheek I say. Off we go again to find the camp site another 8mls or so away. We get there about 10.30 and hardly anyone is there yet, great we can choose a good pitch. Which is what we did, alongside the river in a dryish area. Although later it looked like the battle of the Somme. It was at this point we bade our farewell to Ladyboy as he headed to collect his, I’m hard, I’ve done the Dragon rally (my arse) goody bag to prove ‘he’d been’. This was all to the rising chorus of jibber, jibber. He pretended not to hear 
.
The damned jibber looks almost proud to be leaving
Anyway, It’s all looking good and the weather is actually quite bright. Alas this did not last for long. Long enough to erect the tents and stow away the belongings, then it clouded over and started an incessant drizzle.
This is our arrival 3 hours later it was a solid mass of bikes and bodies
With being there early we managed to grab a couple of the onsite fire pits. God knows how much coal Ash had brought with him, half a hundred weight at a guess, I kid you not 
. It’s ever likely the Urinal was struggling up the hills and the handling was compromised. Having said all that thank goodness he did, as along with our fire bricks and bags of charcoal, we kept the two fires going all day and night till we went to bed. The Saturday was a similar fayre to the night in the pub, loads of funny stories, drink and constant ribbing, only this night we were in a cold damp and by now very wet field in the middle of Wales. If you stood back from the souls huddled around the fires all you could see was steam pouring off us. I honestly think some of us were par boiled by the end of the night.I had taken a small umbrella and all I got was abuse from Pete for poking him in the head with it, he shouldn’t be so tall.
Proper fires for proper men
Proper men who need a hot water bottle to keep warm...Puff
Viv makes a fashion statement...a shite one, but it's a statement
I walked around the site looking at the bikes and having a natter and our fires and lighting, two Coleman petrol lamps, were by far the best and warmest. The amount of randoms turning up for half an hour at a time for a chat and a warm was unbelievable. One bloke joined us about 6.30 accompanied by his chair and a bottle of rum ( that’s the only reason we let him stay) and didn’t leave all night, I have no idea who he was and neither did anyone else. We did get admonished, twice, by the campsite resident tree hugger and her daft mate swampy for poking our fires with a twig, really. ‘Don’t use the twigs and branches on the floor they’re for the insects’ Ah well, they both looked like they could have done with a good wash, pillocks. The stroker ace turns up and we find he’s brought his brother with him, F*** me ones bad enough but two of them . Any way they didn’t stay long as they don’t camp, just turn up, mooch then go home to a warm bed. Ben, Swim41 turns up for a natter. He’s camping with his girlfriend. Strange how he doesn’t bring her over until later in the night when shes been drinking to numb the pain of meeting us. I have no idea what time I went to bed I know it wasn’t late but it seemed like it. I woke a few times in the night to the sound of snoring and rain. I suppose it could have been someone p****g on the tent? The next morning it was proper wet and still raining.
Morning pack up
Goody bag contents
The only consolation was the river was still contained within its own banks and we hadn’t been swept away. BCP made me breakfast again and Vic had mended my punctured inner tube, good lads . We slowly packed away the sodden tent and gear and were soon on our way. Once again I’ve made it sound cold wet and miserable, it was, but it was a good laugh with like minded souls and that’s what it’s all about, will I be there next year? No! But let me know when the tickets are on sale and I’ll see you in a Welsh field in February in 2014.
So To sum it all up what do you get? A goody bag containing a Mars bar, a Snickers bar, a slate coaster, a badge, a miniature bottle of bells whisky, a sticker, pneumonia and the piss ripped out of you all weekend and aching sides from laughing. I can’t think of anything better to do. That for me sums up the Dragon Rally. Give it a go you might just enjoy it
I got home about midday had a shower and fell asleep in front of the fire, bliss
Bogger
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